


Letters makes Words and Words makes Sentences

by Act_ocean



Category: Act-Age (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bad Spelling & Grammar, Character Study, F/F, Minor Character Death, My First AO3 Post, Not Beta Read, it's Kei's mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22972420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Act_ocean/pseuds/Act_ocean
Summary: Chiyoko loves the letters, and it's her biggest fear.Kei hates letters, but isn't scared of them.(Aka the soulmate AU that i needed so i wrote it.)
Relationships: Chiyoko Momoshiro/Kei Yonagi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	Letters makes Words and Words makes Sentences

**Author's Note:**

> This is my little passion project and i hope you'll enjoy it.

Chiyoko remembered the first time she understood, what the text on her arm meant. Not that she knew what was written, but she finally understood the meaning of them.

Before that they had just been meaningless letters, that she didn’t understand. The little girl didn’t have any interest in them. Her mom never talked about them, and it as not like other people showed much interest in them. They just were there.

They’d always been.

If Chiyoko hadn’t been the person she was, she would never had had any interest in the words. Children are an image of their parents.

Chiyoko’s mom hated the letters.

But Chiyoko didn’t. She was curious about the letters, or at least she became after a certain day.

It was the first day of elementary school and everyone was social. Everyone talked to new people and formed friendships. Maybe they’d last years, maybe they’d last a day. Chiyoko loved watching it happen.

Chiyoko was a weird child.

She loved bugs and watching people’s expressions. She loved looking at people, when they thought no one looked. They always showed magnificent expressions. Nothing fake about them, only the truth. the truth that was mostly ugly, but occasionally was beautiful.

People thought she was creepy when they noticed, but she didn’t care. She never cared back then.

Chiyoko observed people like always, when she saw, two boys crying. It was weird at first, because the white-haired girl clearly saw that they weren’t sad. She had never observed people crying tears of happiness. It was a first.

The two boys were showing each other their wrist and caressing the small letters. Letters that Chiyoko knew that everyone had, but what did they mean?

That was the first time that question had popped up in her head, and Chiyoko was filled with panic. A whole new expression, and she didn’t know the meaning of it! It was scary.

She needed to know what the letters meant, and she made it her mission to find out.

She didn’t dare to ask the teacher.

he was a new person, and she hadn't learned to read him. She couldn’t understand yet. Yet! It was a yet. She understood everyone in the newly washed classroom except the teacher. It would be stupid to ask him.

So, she waited. Waited for the school day to be over, so she could run home and ask her mom, what the letters meant.

“They aren’t important,” was the first thing her mom said when Chiyoko asked.

Chiyoko knew it was a lie. Her mom was the person she read the best. She was the reason she loved people’s expressions.

She’d never seen her mom with a happy face.

“Well mom, if they it doesn’t mean a thing, then what is not a thing,” she smiled teasingly at her mom. She needed to use every weapon she had to get the answer.

The black-haired woman sighed slowly. Chiyoko knew she her mom hadn’t any energy left after a hole day at work, but she really needed she answer.

Apparently her mother also knew that but without nearly any fighting she just said:“ It’s really stupid snowflake, but if you really want to know it’s the first words the person, that the “universe” thinks is the one you are supposed to be with, your soulmate, will say to you. It’s a flawed system and doesn’t work. Even though you are “supposed” to be perfect for the person, most soulmate couples fail. You really shouldn’t……………..”

Chiyoko didn’t hear the last part. She had gotten to obsessed with the idea of a soulmate, someone made for her! What kind of person would they be? Sweet or harsh? Would they have great expressions? Definitely!

Chiyoko would definitely love every part, would see them as the most beautiful thing ever. Would they like her?

How would they see her?

How did everyone see her?

_{I can’t see her face}_

~-~

Kei remember the first time she knew what the letters meant. The letters that were engraved on her wrist. Letters that she would never be able to make disappear.

She hated the letters. 

Her mother didn’t share that opinion, no she loved them. Loved them more than anything.

When she was younger Kei always became confused, when her mother looked with love down at the letters. she caressed them with her fingers, looked at them the same way she looked at her husband.

Kei’s dad.

Asshole.

He was never home, and when he was, he always spends time with his books.

Or with his beloved movies.

He never spent time with Kei’s mom, and certainly not with his kids. If Kei would ask if he would be play, she would always get the same answer:” Not now! Daddy is working.” Plus, he never even looked at the twins.

But mom still loved him. She would always say that he secretly loved them. He was just scared of showing it.

Would you spend all your time out of the house if your wife was bedridden?  
  


Because of her father’s absence in her childhood, she hated him, and because of her mother’s stares at the letters corresponded with her looks at her dad, she hated them.

She didn’t want to know what the letters meant. But she knew the day when her mother would tell her would be inevitable. Her mother always told her about the things she loved. What was hers would be Kei’s when she was gone. So, the day when Kei’s mother called her to her bed to talk about the letters, she was prepared.

Should would smile at her mother when she told her what the letters mean, and then say that she would cherish them forever. That would probably calm her, and she would never talk about them again.

“Do you know what the letters on your arm mean?” said Kei’s mom when Kei sat down beside her.

Kei obviously didn’t know what the letters meant, and she really didn’t want to, but for the sake, of her mother’s health, she just answered:” No mom, you know I’m not good at reading Kanji yet, silly.”

The older woman looked confused for a second, and then laughed. What was so funny? Kei just answered the question. She puffed her cheeks up and huffed. She did nothing wrong.

Slowly Kei’s mom calmed her laughter and patted Kei her head while saying:” that wasn’t what I meant sweetheart. I meant; do you know why the letters are important?”

“No,” said a slightly annoyed Kei, she wasn’t a child, she didn’t need to be patted.

The woman caressed Kei’s cheek and said:” Of course sweetie, you are my big strong girl, and big strong girls need to know what the letters mean.”

The little girl looked with pity at the woman before her. Lying in bed, discarded of her husband, pink unruly hair, a shadow of her former self and yet she was still a beauty and was able to say so kind words to Kei. Many of her classmates’ parents would probably yell at their children if they were so irritating and repeating.

“The letters on your arm make out the most important sentence on your life. They are the first thing your soulmate, your destined one, will say to you. They are the person who will love you the most in the world, love you more than everyone in your family. They will devote their life to you, just like you’ll devote yours to them. Loving them will be just like breathing. You’ll do it without thinking, and not doing it will kill you. you will finally be whole,” the woman began to shine more and more when she talked about the letters, like it was the most wonderful thing. Her eyes became just like the sun, lighting everything up, but if you looked at them, you’d become blind.

Kei wanted to throw up.

And then the hug came. Her mother attacked her with love. Like it was the most happy day in her life.

Probably was.

“Do you want to know what your letters says?”

Kei wanted to decline. Tell her mother how it made her sick to look at her so engraved in the idea of a soulmate.

To look at someone so in love with someone who clearly wasn’t.

Kei smiled sweetly at her mother with her best acting and said:” why wouldn’t I.”

Really the smile that came over Kei’s mother, as she grabbed her arm and looked at her wrist, made it all worth.

“well let me see sweetie, it says: _Mrs._ _. Yonagi Kei, I watched the video from your audition. Your performance was really true-to-life, but that isn’t acting, is it? How on earth do that?_ Or something like that. It looks like you’ll be acting in the future sweetie, but your soulmate definitely doesn’t think you are that great, well you’ll never been that great at acting, have you.” Kei’s mom was beaming with happiness as she read the words, and she patted Kei again.

Kei Yonagi was 8 when she realized she hated the letters.

She was 14 when she realized she hated the concept of soulmates, and she never wanted hers.

_{Ugly}_

~-~

Chiyoko loved her soulmates words because they gave her a goal: she needed to be The Angel. Something in another world, that her soulmate would admire and love.

She always looked her letters when she needed encourage. They were still as clear as the day she was born and written beautifully clumsy with her soulmates writing: _There’s something I’d like to ask you too. It’s about the acting technique where you get a bird’s-eye view of yourself, and control yourself from there. I heard that it’s possible to do it, you’re The Angel, but is that really true? An out of-body experience, I mean._ Really beautiful.

Chiyoko could already grasp their personality out of the words that she got. They would probably be a dork. The sentences just gave such a dork feeling, so childlike and still so mature. She could already imagen the amazing expressions they would create. Starring at them for hours would probably become her favorite to do. You could actually say that it already was. She stared at the words for hours to get herself to sleep. It calmed her.

The upcoming actress only knew one time when the words hadn’t calmed her. Her mother had told what the words meant, and suddenly Chiyoko became really conscious of how she looked to other people. She never really talked to kids in her class. One of them could definitely be her soulmate. What if they got a bad impression of her? Would they never love her then? Mom said that it was just a myth that soulmates were perfect for each other, but Chiyoko needed them.

And then a more horrifying thought appeared.

What if she’d already met them, and they just didn’t want her. Suddenly the letters that had appeared as a promise of love turned into at fear of rejection. The fear of not knowing her words made her lock herself in her own home. Safe in the calm living room with the big couch, never used tv and stack of old movies. It smelled of home and there were no one.

Chiyoko spent hours in the room while she was supposed be at school. She learned to hide outside the house, wait for her mom to go to work and then unlock the door. Her mother always came home late.

She would never notice.

Chiyoko wanted to know what the letters wrote, but she was scared. She’d already asked her mom to much, and because of her hiding she didn’t understand the teacher. People she didn’t understand was scary.

Suddenly everyone was scary.

Chiyoko hid in the living room for weeks, so it was only a matter before she became bored. She was after all a child at that point.

A child that found a weird love for movies.

When looking back at it, Chiyoko had no idea how the idea of watch the old movies popped up in her head, but it changed her life forever.

The way that the people on the screen mad stories made fake stories to come to life fascinated her. The people on the screen was in a whole other world. A world that they created and controlled. They could manipulate people to see them just as they wanted.

Chiyoko couldn’t take her eyes of them.

It became her life in the weeks she hid in the room. Watching movies of tv all day,

And then one day instead a police officer stood at her door.

“Chiyoko Momoshiro I assume?” questioned the man as he stared intensely at her with a look of pity and sadness. Why were this man here? Where were mom?

“Yes.”

The wind was cold, and it was blowing into the house through the door. It would cost them if the door stayed open any longer, but the man just kept standing and staring. He couldn’t figure out what he should say, or that was what Chiyoko assumed was happening. Weren’t the police supposed to be confident and calm? Yet he was just standing there in his powerful blue uniform and fiddling with his fingers.

And there they stood for a few minutes until the police officer finally manned up and said:” what kind of things do you like Momoshiro?”

Chiyoko felt angry. The man wasted their precious warmth for minutes, and then he just asked such a meaningless question. She would answer him, and she would do it well.

“I like acting.”

Chiyoko didn’t realize at that moment, but it was the first conversation she had had with someone new for weeks, and she wasn’t scared.

After that, the man asked her to come with her to the hospital. She was just a child at that point, but Chiyoko understood that you were supposed to listen to the police. No matter how much you hated them.

Chiyoko’s mom had been in an accident.

When they drove to the hospital, the man explained that they still didn’t know much of what happened because both the driver and her mom had been knocked unconscious. They had no way of knowing if it was an accident or intentional.

For the first time in forever she felt fear. What if her mom died? Would she be alone? No one would want a creepy child.

A weird child who loved bugs and watching people.

She even loved to watch her mom laying in the white hospital bed. She was paralyzed and had an expression on her face that the white-haired girl had never seen. 

She had placed her hand at her mom’s arm and pinched her. Maybe she would wake up.

Maybe she wouldn’t.

But would that really matter? Chiyoko was placed inside the hospital room alone. Apparently, the adults thought that she needed alone time with her mom. She heard the whispers from the nurses when they left:” The child needs time to grief, she would want to say goodbye or something.” They said it like her mom was already dead.

She clearly wasn’t. She laid there at the hospital and was breathing. It was 10 pm and her mom was clearly alive, so what if she was paralyzed. She was alive, and if she was alive Chiyoko would always have someone to go to. Someone to take care of her if she never met her soulmate.

“You look sad.”

Suddenly a voice broke the irritating silence in the blue room. Chiyoko immediately turned around and looked into a blond beautiful lady’s eyes. The woman was easily recognizable, her unnatural aura was easy to detect. She was the actress from one of the movies Chiyoko had seen in her weeks of solitude.

It was the first time she met one of the people from the other side of the screen that Chiyoko had admired so much.

With a calm approach the lady sat down and patted Chiyoko at the head, while saying:

“You’re a Natural at acting.”

It was like the world diapered around them. Everything became white. Not the way the room already was blue, but in another way. White like gone.

After that day Chiyoko never visited the room again.

It is weird how Children develop trust in people. All of Chiyoko’s classmates that she’d know for years were people that she couldn’t trust, but the movie star that she’d just met, she could be trusted.

Crying and sobbing Chiyoko showed her wrist up in the face, of the pretty actress and asked:

“What is written on my skin!”

_{Angel}_

~-~

The illness got worse over the years, and suddenly it was all over. Gone and burned.

Kei hated her life.

She had sat beside her mom’s bed and told her stories a few days. Telling her about her first day went. Everyone was older now and they talked like they were super mature. Laughing at Kei because of her childish attitude.

She told her mom about how the sun had been mirrored in the water in the lake. How it had been like there had been sprinkled diamonds over all the water. It reminded her of how the older woman’s eyes looked when she’d talked about something she loved. When Kei had been younger she had compared her mom’s face to a sun, and like the sun, when she died she would go out with a boom and take everything with her.

Kei would never see that sun again.

She slowly took both of the twins’ hands and put them in her own. The music sounded in the background and she squeezed the small hands. They were going to be ok. They would do fine. Maybe dad would begin to come home more often because he was the only parent. In the home where she’d learned to hate the man, she would have to learn to exist with him, and you know what she was actually okay with it.

She would put the twins to bed every single day. 8 o clock everyday would she sing the song that their mother had insisted on singing to them. to the end, for them. They WERE going to be fine.

The lonely girl looked around the room to find the older man. She hated him, but her mom had loved him, and maybe he really also loved her and them as her mom said. He didn’t deserve to be alone.

She looked and looked in the crowd of people, but she couldn’t find him. He was totally gone.

Until he wasn’t.

Suddenly Kei saw him, he was standing near the door and showing a woman his wrist.

There were to sets of letters.

And then he left.

Kei wanted to scream. Her mom loved him, sacrificed everything for him, and still it wasn’t enough to even get him to stay to the end of her funeral. Why couldn’t Kei had been her mom’s soulmate.

Why couldn’t soulmates just stop existing.

The rest of the ceremony were a blur for her. She didn’t exactly remember how she and the twins got home, maybe a relative.

Everything where one and the same. All blue and no other color. A mash of grey. Dark and none existing.

She wanted to scream, to stop existing.

Just like everything.

But she was still present. She still knew what was going on in the second. Just enough alive to keep the twins in disbelief. To make them think that everything was going to be alright. She needed to sing for them.

And then she didn’t. Kei just laid them in their bed and then left. She just went into the living room.

Into the dark room where there was no light except from the old tv sanding in the corner. It was all so familiar and yet so different. It reminded her of the days when the twins weren’t there. Kei remembered here mom sitting in front of the tv with Kei on her lap. Dad would sit and at the table and write. The movie would be entertaining Kei and her mother would smile at the author when he became frustrated over his story.

The memory was so happy. But it was like all the happy days just disappeared. She couldn’t remember when.

Kei didn’t remember watching one of the movies in years, and maybe it was just an impulse of her remembering the memory, but she suddenly wanted to watch one of the old movies. She immediately went over to the tall cabinet, opened it and grabbed a movie. She would watch it.

She would watch her dad’s movie.

Suddenly it all returned. All the pain that magically had disappeared.

Kei hated her man.

He had two soulmates. Kei knew that it wasn’t his fault, but all the confused girl’s rationality had disappeared the moment her mother died. She hated the soulmates, she hated her dad’s soulmate, she hated her mom, she hated the twins, she hated that she could never escape anything as Kei Yonagi, and she hated that she couldn’t become anything else.

She hated everything, so grabbing a knife from the kitchen wasn’t hard.

Kei put the movie on, and the stabbed herself in the wrist.

She never wanted a Soulmate. She never wanted this mess.

Kei Yonagi needed to become another person.

Live another life.

_{Too real}_

~-~

Chiyoko had been looking at the footage for hours now. It was weird. She hadn’t been fascinated been footage or acting for years, and yet she couldn’t take her eyes away from the film.

It was like someone had put a magical spell on her that made her unable to take her eyes of it. The way the girl moved was so true to life and scary, and it plain out scared Chiyoko. For god sake, she had never seen anybody act that way. It was like she actually believed that she was stuck on a deserted island. She acted like a real person would if they were deserted on an island without acting, totally not acting according to the script. She looked s lost and Chiyoko hated it.

The script to the movie were trash, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t supposed to follow it.

She was so real and Chiyoko couldn’t believe it. It didn’t look like acting

Scratch that, that wasn’t acting. That was something far more difficult to deal with. That girl wasn’t acting like the character she was supposed to play.

She was the character.

Why?

That girl put herself into the situation of being on a deserted island, just to “act”. She had probably hurt herself more than she should via that method of “acting”.’

Chiyoko just wanted to stop her. She couldn’t get a grasp on why, but the young actress didn’t want the mystical girl to hurt herself. She couldn’t bear to look at the girl’s misery. It was to real, and to close to home.

Why didn’t anybody stop her?

And more importantly, why did Chiyoko care? She hadn’t cared about anybody else than her soulmate after the accident. No one got close, and even if they did, they were pushed away. She was an angel, and humans weren’t supposed to be with angels. They were supposed to look at a distance with awe.

Only her soulmate was supposed to go with her to heaven.

Her soulmate! Of course, that was why she wanted to stop the girl. Her lovely, dorky, sweet soulmate wanted her to be an angel, and this girl was anything else than an angel.

She was a demon.

A demon that acted the opposite way of what acting were supposed to be.

She thought a whole other way than the way Chiyoko thought. She would interfere with Chiyoko’s angelic acting, and make people want to look away from the movie.

A movie there were supposed to boost he fame even more.

Every movie shoot and commercial, that Chiyoko made were important. She needed to be famous so her soulmate would notice her.

She needed to destroy this girl.

_{Beautiful}_

~-~

Fascinated was a word that many would use to describe the way Kei Yonagi felt about Chiyoko Momoshiro.

That wasn’t what Kei would say herself. The feeling she felt was more like what in movies were called love.

Love.

An intense feeling of deep affection. Kei instantly thought the small white-haired girl were pretty, and she seemed so sweet and kind. Kei instantly wanted to hug her.

And yet there was a deeper layer behind the façade, a layer that Kei first deciphered when the broadcast ended.

Chiyoko Momoshiro were like an angel when she sprung from seat to seat in the dark theatre. She lit everything up and took Kei to a whole other world.

She captivated her and made her fall in “love” instantly.

And then it was over. She smiled, said her message and then Sumiji paused. Gave her time to think about what just had happened.

Gave her time to realize what was wrong,

All the things that Kei had found so amazing were an act. The girl was an actress full time. Kei couldn’t see her true face

“Yonagi, what do you think of her?”

Sumiji woke her up from her train of thoughts. She had nearly been as lost as she was when she acted.

“She’s beautiful…. We were enamored with her in an instant. But I can’t see her real face.” Kei said it without thinking.

She wanted to get to know her. Look at Chiyoko without her mask.

“I’d like to meet her.”

_{Self-harming}_

~-~

Chiyoko ready to meet Kei Yonagi. She knew exactly how to pull her down. To ruin her confidence. The only thing she needed to do was simple: arrive late, act all sweet, compliment one of the other actors, then turn to Kei, try to start out with something that would sound like a compliment and then criticize her.

The aspiring “actress” would be ruined.

She was ready.

“I’m so sorry I’m late.”

The first part had started. Time to smile and calm down.

“Once again I’m so sorry for being late.”

Sweet and apologetic.

“I saw the film version of “The Knight”! I loved the way you played Tsukasa, he was kinda my type.”

Just kidding. She needed to get everyone to love her. She needed herself to appear as an angel.

Everything was going fine, and Chiyoko was ready to say put the nail in the coffin. Say the words that she didn’t know would change her life forever.

“ _ah._ ”

A sentence away.

“ _Mrs._ _. Yonagi Kei, I watched the video from your audition. Your performance was really true-to-life, but that isn’t acting, is it? How on earth do that?”_

_{Love}_

~-~

Kei didn’t recognize the words immediately. She was too caught up in Chiyoko. The way the girl was an angel, even when there weren’t any cameras around. Maybe Kei was wrong?

She wanted to ask Chiyoko anything and nothing at the same time, when Chiyoko took notice of her. She didn’t care that Chiyoko had insulted her. She needed to know.

_“There’s something I’d like to ask you too. It’s about the acting technique where you get a bird’s-eye view of yourself, and control yourself from there. I heard that it’s possible to do it, you’re The Angel, but is that really true? An out of-body experience, I mean.”_

_{Hate}_

~-~

Chiyoko remembered, meeting her soulmate for the first time. The soulmate that was supposed to love her forever was such a different person from herself.

But she wasn’t.

Chiyoko had been scared but exited. Scared to be hated but exited to learn what kind of person Kei Yonagi was.

And what an amazing person she was. At first Chiyoko had thought she was ugly, and she certainly was, but not in the way Chiyoko had thought. When she first saw her, Chiyoko had hated the way that her acting was so real. It was to real and felt so ugly that Chiyoko wanted to look away. But she couldn’t. In the same way that if a picture of someone being teared in parts can be ugly yet beautiful, Kei was ugly yet beautiful when she acted.

Kei was too real, and in the start, it had made Chiyoko want to throw up. When she acted, she was her character and in real life she always acted the way she felt. It was weird and so different from Chiyoko. but after a while she started to enjoy it. They way that Kei would Kiss her when she felt like, text her even though she was at a shoot and say exactly what she thought about what Chiyoko did. For the first time in Chiyoko’s life everything felt real.

Kei was self-harming and Chiyoko hated it. she hated how the girl she loved had been put in so much pain that she felt like becoming another person. Chiyoko knew that when Kei one day would introduce her to her father, she would punch the man, kill him if Kei didn’t stop her.

But she accepted it. She accepted the fact that she hated some parts of Kei, because you know what? The parts that she loved, would always be bigger.

_{Together}_

~-~

Kei remembered when she first met Chiyoko. at that point in time it was the worst thing that happened to her in all of her life.

Later it became the best.

Chiyoko had been so different from the soulmate she had pictured in her head. They were hateful, neglecting and cold. Chiyoko were cold in the beginning, but she was lovable and clingy, and in the end she became the warmest creature Kei had met.

When Kei first saw her, she was an angel, or that was what Kei thought. Someone without any flaws. The only thing that was wrong was the lack of. She was too far away to be a soulmate. Maybe if Kei had wanted a soulmate when they met everything would have gone wrong.

Chiyoko was so Beautiful, and if Kei hadn’t been so hesitant, she would have started to love the character that Chiyoko had created, not her. She wouldn’t love the beauty that was created by her flaws named Chiyoko.

Kei had instantly fallen in love with Chiyoko when she saw her, but she fell out of it a minute later. She’d realized that the love was fake and fabricated. Kei had an immense fear of falling in love with something that wasn’t there, just like her mother, and through many years she wasn’t sure in her love for Chiyoko.

But the truth is that she always knew. No matter if Chiyoko was real or fake, she would always love her.

The fake love turned real.

_{Forever}_

**Author's Note:**

> I really loved writing Chiyoko's POV. She is one of my favorite characters in all media. This was really a joy to write, but English ain't my first language so i'm sorry for my poor grammar.  
> maybe i'll write more in the future,  
> I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
